We have our children around us every day, but not everyone is blessed with this happiness. If a baby is born silent, we speak of a star child. We keep receiving messages from parents who had to go through this sad experience of being a star child.
According to statistics, more than 2,000 children are born silent in Germany every year. And those are just the bigger babies. Smaller fetuses are considered miscarriages in statistics. Gynecologists even say that for every normal birth there is also a miscarriage or stillbirth in Germany.
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Dealing with a star child
A star mother has a sad commonality with the other star mothers. She lost her baby and experienced a difficult diagnosis. Many women are deeply sad, desperate and devastated. For most people, their world collapses when they hear about the terrible diagnosis.
Fear and suffering are probably the defining emotions of a woman when she hears the painful words from the doctor: “I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat.”
These words change a woman and the child's father forever. A moment when the birth to the Star Mother begins.
A woman who has become a Star Mother is an equal mother. After all, she experiences the same subsequent steps of pregnancy. But unfortunately their process is different. A much more painful one. After all, she will lose her baby again immediately after birth.
- All children announce themselves in the same way.
- In the best case scenario, they are both born. One of them silent. In the much worse case, however, a birth is possible and an excision occurs. It's the effort of giving birth, but unfortunately without a living child at the end.
- After the birth, the same tasks have to be managed, but unfortunately without a baby. Biologically it is the same regression process.
But she is the mother of her star child and no one has the right to deny her motherhood.
The emotional situation in this exceptional situation
After birth, a star mother is not greeted with the words: “Congratulations, you have a healthy daughter or son.”
The star mother process is very difficult because these mothers are not gifted with a living baby. It is an absolutely exceptional situation. A situation in which the woman and partner reach their limits.
Many mothers feel guilty, ashamed and constantly ask themselves what they did wrong. Why does it work for others but not for them? Why she? Why couldn't they protect their baby better? Many accusations dominate the thoughts.
At this point, those affected need help and support to accept that there are no answers to the painful questions.
The healing and processing process
Well-intentioned sayings are of little help in this situation and can make things even worse. No big words are needed. A loving hug and listening helps a lot.
Many women withdraw and ideally do not want to be reminded of the great and painful loss. Some even avoid children so that they do not have to confront their pain. And then there are people who don't even want to talk.
However, it is best to talk openly about the loss with your partner, family and friends. Share your feelings and thoughts. It is important that those affected actively seek a way out of their grief. You may also want to consider professional help. You should definitely face the emptiness because it is important for the healing process.
This is accompanied by several phases of grief. The type or intensity and length of grief are linked to the bond and relationship with the child.
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The desire to have children
Processing time is different for everyone. After a certain time, the question arises as to how strong the desire to have children still is. Would you like to try again and hopefully have a healthy rainbow child? Or is the fear of possible disappointment too great?
Pregnancy is not always possible naturally. Some couples have to use artificial insemination to conceive. This is also a burden, both psychologically and financially, because not all methods in Germany are financed by health insurance.
But for most people the desire is so great that they go to a fertility clinic or go to a prenatal diagnostician.
A long journey with hormone injections etc. may lie ahead. Difficult hours and disappointments often await here. It doesn't always work the first time and a failed attempt can be very painful. You have lost a child, a life, even though it wasn't even there yet.
The star child photography
These painful moments can be captured by a photographer. Photographers who specialize in this topic consciously accompanied the baby's first and last moments. In this way, unforgettable memories are captured visually.
They accompany star parents in these tragic and at the same time beautiful moments. The moments when they hold their baby in their arms. Shortly before they have to give it away from their hands forever.
Moments full of joy, despite the sadness, when the star photographers capture it. The first moments are also the last.
Still a taboo topic
Many people may find it strange when star mothers talk about their children. Because they are not visible. But as a mother, you carry every child in your heart. No child is replaced by another. It's the same with a star child.
Star mothers love their children just as every mother loves her child or rainbow child. Love is the same. The bond and relationship is the same. It hurts at any time.
But society still devalues the topic. For many people it is not seen as real. After all, this topic is intangible to outsiders. It is therefore all the more important that this topic does not remain a taboo topic. It is therefore important to create an exchange with those affected. This can also consciously contribute to processing the topic. This allows new strength to be released and the loss to be better understood and processed.
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The star child poster as a reminder
The many messages that reach us show us that the topic should no longer be a taboo topic.
A star child is just as much a part of your family as children and rainbow children. So that you can remember them in a wonderful way, we would like to create a beautiful memory for you with our star posters.
When you look at the starry sky and think of your little angel, this is a beautiful reminder of your baby.
Star parents are very important to us. Your daily messages touch and inspire us in equal measure. Quotes like these always remind us why we do all this:
“It's such an incredibly nice feeling to know that you're not alone with this joke and that there are still people who are trying their very best to give us star parents a little comfort. I would like to say THANK YOU for that.”
“You can’t put it into words. So much attention to detail. You poured your heart into memories that mean so much to us parents. You don't leave us alone and give us the opportunity to have a nice memory of our little star. Thank you 1000 for that.”
With our posters we want to give comfort and remembrance in an artistic way and commemorate each and every star child.
Some things we cannot control, they are out of our hands. But important to know for everyone affected – you are not alone.
- Tags: Baby verloren Babyposter Das Geburtsposter DasGeburtsposter Fehlgeburt Regenbogenkind Sterneneltern Sternenkind Sternenkindposter Sternenmutter Tabuthema Sternenkind Trauerbewältigung Verwaiste Eltern